


Medical Necessity/Observations

by RoseCathy



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-03 08:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2844551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseCathy/pseuds/RoseCathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holiday ficlets. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Medical Necessity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys try out [a new venue](http://janamelie.tumblr.com/post/106006623813/rosecathy-janamelie-feline-ranger).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is [Janamelie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Janamelie/pseuds/Janamelie)’s fault, as usual. <3

“And you’re sure he’s offline? You’ve double-checked his schedule?”

Lister rolled his eyes. “Yes, dear.”

“Are you absolutely, positively sure?”

“I triple-checked it! Three smegging times! Happy?”

Rimmer was happy enough to lead Lister by the hand into the exam room. He glanced one final time at the screen; it was still blank. Good. He let out the breath he’d been holding and settled into the soft chair.

“Now, if I press this,” Lister’s muffled voice was saying from behind him, “it should…yeah, there you go.” He walked around to the front and straddled Rimmer, who was now almost flat on his back. “Comfy?”

“Mmm.” Rimmer immediately wrapped his arms tight around Lister and ground his hips up as they kissed. Frankly, waiting for the medi-bot’s downtime so they could play here had been torture. It had been quite awhile since he’d had a nice, long -

“Hello there. Here for your filling?”

The sinister voice froze them both in place.

“This won’t hurt a bit.” _Whirrrr_. “Open wide and say aaaaaa…”

-

Rimmer rounded on Lister, still out of simulated breath from their sprint. “You said you’d triple-checked!”

“I…did…” Lister gasped.

“Then why - why?”

“Hey, monkeys!” The Cat slid elegantly into view. “What are you doing here? This is _my_ appointment! One hour for treatment, another hour for whitening and polishing!”

“What about his downtime?”

“What downtime? He’s on from now till ten! Yowww!”

“No, that’s when he’s supposed to - oh, smeg.” Lister put his face in his hands.

“What?”

“They’re different,” he groaned. “The denti-bot and the medi-bot. They’re not the same person. Machine. Whatever.”

Rimmer groaned too as the implications dawned on him. “That probably means…”

“One of them is always awake.”

Cat poked his head out of the medi-bay. “Hey, bud, I forgot to say. The unzipped trousers look? Never fashionable on anybody, ever.”


	2. Observations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

No one really knew what year it was or where the rest of the good champagne was (Holly might have known, but he still hadn’t finished drying out). It didn’t matter. There was always the GELF hooch, and as for the year, they preferred to think in terms of recent events. Two years since Rimmer had learned the truth about his parentage; five years since they’d moved into their current quarters; (a little over probably approximately) 16 years since Rimmer had returned? That last one got fuzzier all the time. He’d been back for far, far longer than he’d been gone.

He had also re-adopted many of his old habits. He’d slipped away quietly towards the end of dinner, raising his eyebrows in answer to Lister’s questioning look. He knew that Lister knew that he was going up to the Observation Dome.

“Look at that,” he said softly as Lister joined him at the top. “That green streaky thing. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Lister smiled to himself. 

“It might be a signal. ‘Happy New Year’, or perhaps ‘We will attack while you’re getting sloshed’…”

“I don’t think aliens keep track of our holidays, Rimmer. Smeg, _we_ can’t keep track of our holidays. Or any days.”

“Mock all you want, Listy, but that object is highly irregular, I’m telling you.”

“I wasn’t mocking,” Lister sighed. “Look, when you were out there, in all those different dimensions, did you ever meet any aliens?”

“Maybe,” Rimmer replied defiantly.

“But no confirmed cases, am I right?”

“Where are you going with this, Lister?”

“I’m just saying…maybe you should, y’know, focus your attention on what you’ve got here.” Lister smiled again at the gentle slide of a thumb across his cheek. “ _We_ definitely exist. For better or for worse and all that.”

“Hmm.”

“Also, it’s almost time for the countdown, and I definitely want a kiss this year, so…”

Rimmer grudgingly followed him down the ladder, keeping his eyes on the green streak as much as possible. “Just one kiss?” he prodded when they got to the bottom.

“Maybe two.”

“What about afterwards?”

“Oh, I don’t know, man, Cat and Kryten might want to stick around for more hooch. But there is a place we could go if it’s really urgent…”


End file.
